


every time i fall

by martiniblue



Category: ITZY (Band)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, F/F, Fluff, basically ryujin and yuna throughout the years, crossposted, there's some swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 05:02:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20687924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/martiniblue/pseuds/martiniblue
Summary: every time yuna falls, ryujin is there to catch her





	every time i fall

_ **WHEN SHE WAS FIVE** _

Yuna tightened her grip on the hand holds. At the bottom of the slide, other kids her age taunted her with words like, "_You're a scaredy cat if you don't come down!" _but honestly, Yuna couldn't hear them. Her heart thumped wildly in her chest, she thought it would break free from her rib-cage. She felt like she was standing on a tightrope, twenty metres high with nothing to hold onto. When the other kids squealed in delight as they slid down, she wanted to experience that kind of thrill as well. Climbing up the ladder was fine but looking down from the top of the slide made Yuna's stomach drop.

She felt rapid taps on her shoulder and turned her head slightly, both of her hands refusing to let go of the hand rails.

A girl with plaits smiled at her. Yuna thought her dimples looked like whiskers and in her mind, she nicknamed the girl, _'kitty'_. A simple smile took Yuna's mind off her current situation.

"I can go first if you want," _Kitty _offered. 

Yuna gave her a timid nod but she couldn't let go of the rails. She thought she would fall if she did. _Kitty_ gently put her hand over Yuna's and pulled her away from the edge of the slide. Yuna wondered whether _Kitty_ could read her mind because for some reason, she couldn't find her voice but _Kitty _knew exactly how she felt. 

The girl shuffled closer to the edge but before she went down, she looked back at Yuna. 

"I'll wait for you at the bottom of the slide," _Kitty_ smiled as she stuck out her pinky for Yuna to link with hers, "I promise to catch you."

After Yuna wrapped her pinky around the other girl's, _Kitty _pushed off the rails to give herself a little boost as she sped down the slide. That day, Yuna decided that _Kitty's _giggles were her favourite sound. 

The smile that was unknowingly plastered on Yuna's face soon faded when she realised it was her turn to slide down.

"Don't worry! I'm here," _Kitty_ shouted from the bottom of the slide. She gave Yuna a thumbs up and the biggest smile she could offer.

Yuna took a deep breath. Her heart pounded in her chest. This time was different though. When she looked down, she didn't feel that high up. She didn't feel like she was standing on a tightrope anymore because _Kitty_ was there, four metres away from her.

She closed her eyes and let go of the hand rails. 

Hardly two seconds later, she felt a pair of hands on her shoulders. 

"Told you I'd catch you!" _Kitty_ beamed as she helped Yuna off the slide. Her smile made Yuna feel warmth spread throughout her body. 

"By the way, I'm Ryujin! What's your name?" _Ryujin_ held out her hand.

"Yuna," she grinned as she took her new friend's hand. 

And Yuna definitely preferred the name Ryujin over _Kitty_.

* * *

_ **WHEN SHE WAS EIGHT** _

_ _

Yuna stared up at the tree. It's a little high but the way Ryujin gently squeezed her hand made her feel safe so she mustered the courage to climb up the ladder, like everyone else. She had a lot of fears but her biggest fear was disappointing Ryujin.

It was Chaeryeong's 8th birthday and Yuna was invited to play in her treehouse after school even though the pair had never really spoken to each other. (Yuna didn't know that Ryujin told everyone in their class that she and Yuna were a package deal). Other kids liked to climb trees at the park near their school but Yuna preferred to keep her two feet on the ground.

There were seven kids sitting in a circle inside the treehouse.

"So who wants to be the king?" Chaeryeong asked as she placed a crown on top of her own head, proclaiming herself as the queen.

A boy named Eunwoo shot his hand up. He was the kid who sat behind Yuna in class, always connecting the ends of his textas to build a long line to tap Yuna on the shoulder with it. And when she turned around, he would just show off his dimples and eye-smile.

Chaeryeong picked up a conical hat with a bright pink pom pom attached to the apex of it. "Anyone want to be the princess?"

Ryujin grabbed Yuna's wrist and held it up in the air. "Yuna would make a pretty princess," she declared.

"And I want to be her knight in shining armour!" Ryujin continued as she picked up a plastic shield.

"I'll protect you from all the evils of this world and all the stinky boys with cooties," she whispered to Yuna while the other kids chose from the array of costumes.

Yuna smiled at her best friend's antics. "I'll protect you too Ryujinnie," she promised, sticking out her pinky.

Ryujin let go of her shield and linked her pinky with Yuna's.

"Chae, honey! Afternoon tea is ready!" Chaeryeong's mother called out from the bottom of the treehouse.

"Okay, mum!"

The other kids began to climb down the ladder - some of them jumping off from the third-last rung. Soon, it was just Ryujin and Yuna left in the treehouse.

"I'll go first, okay?" Ryujin told her. Yuna bit the insides of her cheek, silently hoping that Ryujin would wait for her and not run off with the others.

When Ryujin disappeared through the arched opening of the treehouse, Yuna shuffled towards the edge at a snail's pace. She felt like she was a lot higher up than she remembered climbing. Ryujin looked up at her expectantly. She didn't want her best friend to think she was lame or scared so she slowly lowered herself until she felt a thick rope beneath her left foot. One step at a time, she was getting closer to the ground. Suddenly, on the fourth last rung, she lost her footing. Her hand desperately reached out but grasped at nothing. She knew the pain was coming.

There was a dull thump of hitting dirt but she didn't feel hurt at all.

"Told you I'd always catch you," Ryujin told her through muffled giggles.

* * *

_ **WHEN SHE WAS TEN** _

Yuna didn't know if she was born with one leg slightly shorter than the other or if she was just incredibly clumsy.

When Ryujin got a bike for her tenth birthday, she was ecstatic. She loved the free feeling of going smoothly over the rise and fall of the footpath. Her legs moved up and down without exerting too much energy as she sped down the flat path. When a familiar house was in view, she leaned forward and squeezed the handbrakes. She rang the little bell on the handlebar and seconds later, Yuna's head peeped through her bedroom window. She thought Ryujin looked really cool on her new bike.

Ryujin waved frantically at Yuna, before breaking into a fit of giggles. And there were those whisker-like dimples that Yuna adored so much.

"Happy birthday Ryujinnie!" Yuna bubbled as she skipped through her front door, hands tightly clasped around a small box.

She embraced her best friend in a hug before handing her the gift.

"Thank you," Ryujin smiled as she lifted the lid. It was a pair of stud earrings with shields.

She raised her eyes to Yuna's ears and like she had expected, Yuna was wearing similar styled earrings with tiaras.

Yuna had that look in her eye - a fear of rejection. But then Ryujin reached out to hold Yuna's hand.

"This is the best birthday present ever."

That made Yuna's heart swell with pride.

"Even better than your new bike?" Yuna teased.

"Definitely! But don't tell my dad I said that."

Yuna pretended to zip her mouth and toss the key far away.

Ryujin patted the seat of her bike. "Your carriage awaits, princess Yuna!"

Yuna feigned disgust and cringed at her best friend's words but deep down, she loved how cheesy Ryujin could be. (Though, she would never admit that out loud). (It didn't matter though because Ryujin always caught Yuna smiling afterwards).

Ryujin put a helmet on Yuna's head and fastened it for her. When they locked eyes for a moment, Yuna wondered why her heart was pounding in her chest. Must be nervous about riding a bike for the first time, she thought.

Ryujin kept a steady hand on the handlebar so that the bike wouldn't tip over to one side as Yuna slowly pushed down on the pedals with her body weight.

"I'm going to let go now," Ryujin warned. Once Yuna gave her a nod, she gradually released her grip on the bike.

She was pedalling on her own for a few seconds before the bike began to wobble and she couldn't balance her weight. Yuna felt herself tipping to the left. She squeezed her eyes shut, bracing for impact but all she felt were hands on her shoulders.

"It's okay! We can keep practising until you get the hang of it," Ryujin reassured when she saw how pale Yuna had gotten, "It's a lot of fun!"

"What if it takes years?" Yuna mumbled.

"Then I will be by your side for years to help you," Ryujin promised.

Yuna thought about how lucky she was to have someone like Ryujin - always there beside her, ever since they were five. 

"Ryu!" Ryujin suddenly shouted as she made a fist and stuck her arm out.

"Na!" Yuna mirrored the gesture.

"Cross!"

* * *

_ **WHEN SHE WAS THIRTEEN** _

"Eunwoo has a crush on you." A boy from their class, Jaemin, had stopped in front of Yuna and Ryujin, blocking their path. He looked at Yuna with a teasing grin, waiting for her to react. Yuna thought about all the times Eunwoo would kick her chair or tap her on the shoulder with his textas just to smile at her.

"What?" Ryujin interrupted her thoughts.

Jaemin shrugged, "He just told me to tell you."

Yuna never really thought about Eunwoo that way even though they had gone to school together for over 5 years. But from that day on, she began to notice his presence more. Sometimes they would lock eyes while walking in the corridor and he would shoot her a goofy grin. That was probably her favourite thing about him - he always noticed her.

So when Eunwoo waited by Yuna's locker after school one day and asked to go out on a date with her, she didn't hesitate to say no. It felt really good to have someone like her, and maybe _love _her someday. She didn't really feel the butterflies in her stomach like Ryujin had described to her (Ryujin said she knew the feeling because that's what it's like in the movies), but Yuna didn't mind - she was sure they would come once she got to know Eunwoo better.

Yuna and Ryujin used to go to the café in their neighbourhood after school almost everyday but for the past few weeks, it had just been Ryujin sitting alone with her yoghurt smoothie. Ryujin knew she couldn't blame Yuna for putting their years of friendship on hold for some _stupid_ boy because he was Yuna's first boyfriend but she couldn't help resenting their relationship.

It was a Friday night, about a month after Yuna and Eunwoo had made it official that they were together. And like all the other Friday nights that month, Yuna had flaked on their movie night in favour of a date with Eunwoo. Movie nights at Ryujin's house on Friday were a tradition since they were five.

Ryujin desperately wanted to call Yuna. It wasn't that she couldn't - the pair were still on speaking terms and they didn't have any arguments - it was just that she didn't know how to tell Yuna how she felt. _"Hey Yuna, I know you're on a date right now but I really miss you so please come over?" _No. She couldn't say it.

Maybe she would just ask Yuna how her date went. It was almost ten o'clock so surely, Yuna would be home.

She clicked on the contact name she saved for Yuna in her favourites list and waited. _8 rings_ and still no answer. She was about to hang up when the ringing stopped.

"Hey Yuna!" Ryujin tried to sound enthusiastic to hide her true feelings, "How was-"

She was cut off by the sound of muffled sobs.

"Yuna?"

Yuna tried to respond but she couldn't. She couldn't speak, she couldn't even breathe.

"Are you okay?" Of course Yuna wasn't. Ryujin hated the fact that that was the first thing she asked. It was a stock standard response to someone crying but Yuna wasn't just _someone_ \- she was _everything_ to Ryujin.

"Never mind, I'm coming over, okay?" Ryujin asked quietly.

Yuna tried to say something but when she opened her mouth, all she let out was a shaky breath. Ryujin wasn't about to let her go through it alone anyway.

Twenty or so minutes later (nobody was really counting), Ryujin knocked softly on Yuna's bedroom door before letting herself in. She had never seen Yuna like that. Yuna was always the bubblier one of the pair. But the way her shoulders shook and her head hung low brewed a mixture of emotions within Ryujin. She could feel her blood boiling at the thought that some douchebag did this to her best friend but when she looked at Yuna, she knew that it wasn't the time to be lashing out at somebody. Ryujin had seen Yuna cry plenty of times but not like that - her eyes were different. They used to be full of hope but in that moment, they were just empty.

Ryujin sat down beside Yuna on her bed and gently tucked her best friend's long, dishevelled hair behind her ear. Yuna made no attempt to wipe away her tears, she just let them course down her cheeks. Ryujin wrapped her arm around Yuna and pulled her close. The younger girl sobbed into her chest, shoulders heaving. They stayed like that in silence, Ryujin's sweater stained with dejection.

Eventually, Yuna pulled away, wiping away at her cheeks with her sleeves.

"Sorry I ruined your sweater," Yuna's voice was wobbly but at least she could speak. She fiddled with the hem of her t-shirt and stared down at her hands in her lap.

"You didn't," Ryujin reassured her softly, taking Yuna's hands in hers.

They wordlessly tucked themselves under Yuna's blankets, staring up at the ceiling decorated with glow-in-the-dark stars as they still held hands.

"I was gonna tell him I loved him tonight," Yuna confessed suddenly.

"I'll kill him tomorrow," Ryujin whispered.

Yuna chuckled a little as she rested her head on Ryujin's shoulder. She thought Ryujin was joking but little did she know.

"But do you really?" Ryujin asked quietly, nervous about Yuna's answer.

"Hm?"

"Do you love him?"

"I think so." Yuna never felt the butterflies that Ryujin told her about but he made her happy most of the time - that's love, isn't it? "But it doesn't matter anymore because he doesn't."

"Well, he'll never find someone better than you," Ryujin told her, "It's his loss."

Yuna smiled. _Shin Ryujin - always the one to pick her up every time she fell._

"Hey let's watch a movie," Yuna suddenly suggested as she wriggled out from under the blankets. She wanted to get her mind off him. "It's supposed to be movie night isn't it?"

They decided to watch Inside Out (Ryujin noticed that none of the options that Yuna offered were romance. Yuna's favourite genre's romance).

"I love you, Yuna," Ryujin left the words hanging in the air between them as the ending credits rolled.

They had told each other that they loved one another a lot of times [_"I hate you." "Yeah, yeah, love you too!"] _but it had always felt different to Ryujin.

"I love you too."

"You do?"

"Of course I do! We're best friends, how could I not love you?"

Ryujin smiled but Yuna didn't notice the sadness in her eyes.

* * *

_ **WHEN SHE WAS SIXTEEN** _

It was the first time Ryujin and Yuna didn't do something together. Ryujin wanted to join the track team and Yuna wanted to be a cheerleader.   
  


"How did your first tryouts go?" Ryujin asked as she threw down her athletic spikes and plopped on the bench.

"Could've been better," Yuna replied honestly. She knew better than to hide her worries from Ryujin because the _(slightly) _older girl had some kind of sixth sense _(this, she learnt over the years)_.

"Why?" Ryujin stopped tying her shoe laces and looked up.  
  


...

  


_Yuna thought that cheerleading would be all smiles and pom poms, like how it was in all the chick flicks she's seen with Ryujin. She imagined this: A bright, sunny day. Cute, pink uniforms. Fluffy pompoms. Smiles on everyone's faces. Dance routines and maybe a cartwheel or two. And last but not least, hot football players who would maybe fall in love with her at first sight._

_None of that was reality though, except for the smiles on everyone's faces. Katy, the cheerleading captain, insisted that despite the unideal, muddy terrain and light rainfall, everyone had to keep smiling. (Yuna was pretty sure that 'Katy' wasn't the girl's real name but she didn't want to ask)._

_"If you don't smile, you don't pass!" Katy screamed continuously at the girls as they kicked up their legs and twirled around to the beat of 'IT'z SUMMER' by ITZY._

_After the tryouts, Katy rounded up the girls, holding a clipboard in her hands._

_"We'll be having two more tryouts but I've got a rough idea of who I want in which positions," Katy announced. "Eunseo, base. Eunji, base. Chaeyoung, spotter. And Yuna... flyer! Everyone else, try harder at the next tryouts."_

_Yuna felt her stomach drop. Sure, she was thrilled that she's almost guaranteed a spot on the cheerleading team, but as a flyer? Being a flyer meant she had to do flips and spins in the air. Yuna didn't know if she could even handle being thrown in the air, let alone do flips that high up. _  
  


...

  


"Katy wants me to be a flyer..." Yuna's voice trailed off as she lightly kicked the dirt.

Ryujin's eyes widened. She wanted to congratulate her best friend for getting a spot so quickly but anything with the word 'fly' in it didn't sound too good for Yuna.

"I don't think I can do it," Yuna's hands trembled the more she dwelled on it. There was no way she could ask Katy to change her position in the team - Katy would just tell her to smile and get over it. It was probably better to just quit while she still could.

"Hey, hey," Ryujin stood up abruptly and held Yuna's hands. "Of course, you can." She crouched a little_ (not that she actually needed to, Yuna had shot up and was at least half a head taller than Ryujin) _and looked up into Yuna's eyes.

"Ryujin..." Yuna started, "A flyer means I'm getting thrown into the air by people I don't even know..."

Ryujin nodded slowly, lost in thought.

Yuna didn't know it at the time but Ryujin was willing to sacrifice her potential spot on the track team if it meant Yuna got to become a cheerleader. She knew the younger girl had always wanted to be one ever since she saw Quinn Fabray in Glee. There was always next year for track...

So on Wednesday that week, Ryujin showed up to the second cheerleading tryouts.

"Ryujin?!" Yuna was alarmed_ (understatement of the year)_, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm trying out too!" Ryujin responded as enthusiastically as she could. She didn't want Yuna to know that she was doing this just for her.

"I thought you hated cheerleading?" Yuna asked, "What about the track team?"

"I'll try out for that next year!" Ryujin grinned, "I'll do a different sport every year." _(She wondered whether cheerleading was even considered a sport)._

Yuna wasn't buying Ryujin's reason though.

"I know you're joining for me," Yuna sighed, "You shouldn't-"

"Okay girls!" Katy clapped her hands together loudly, "I see a lot of new faces today and none of you are smiling. You better turn those frowns upside down if you want to be a cheerleader!"

Ryujin looked at the uniform she was wearing. It was bright red _(at least it wasn't pink, Ryujin thought)_ with the school's name printed in bold, white text. Her face contorted subconsciously as Katy waved around neon pink pom poms.

"She's a character..." Ryujin mumbled to Yuna.

"You!" Katy pointed directly at Ryujin, who just raised an eyebrow in response, "Do you have something to say?"

"Let's go Wildcats!" Ryujin squealed in the fakest, high-pitched voice she could muster.

Yuna sucked in her lips and kept her head down as she tried to hold back her laughter but a short laugh escaped. She quickly played it off by faking a cough.

"What's your name?" Katy asked.

"Ryujin!" Her smile was broad but only Yuna could tell it was forced.

"Well, Ryujin, I like your spirit but we're not the Wildcats. What are we everyone?"

"We're the Cheerios!" the other girls cheered in unison.

'_Ripped straight from Glee,'_ Ryujin thought.

"Right! So let's see those smiles and start cheerleading!"

"For Yuna," she thought and forced a toothy grin.   
  


...  
  


"Which position catches the flyer?" Ryujin asked Katy when the captain suggested that they try a very basic aerial stunt.

"Spotter," Katy replied, although her eyes were fixed on the clipboard in her arms. She scanned the list of names and notes she made around them to see who would best fit the role.

"Can I be the spotter?" Ryujin asked without hesitation. She gave Katy the widest grin she could offer.

"I think you're better as a base."

"I'm really good at catching people," Ryujin reasoned, "And this is just tryouts, isn't it?"

Katy hummed in response. They had mats prepared so it wouldn't be too dangerous - she didn't really see a reason to say no. Her list of potential spotters was significantly shorter than the other positions anyway.

Yuna bit her lip and picked at her nails as the base was formed. Katy had told her that some girl named Eunseo would be throwing her... or maybe it was Eunji... or both? She couldn't remember. It was just tryouts though. They probably wouldn't throw her too high... right...?

Her racing heart slowed down to a steady beat when Ryujin placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I got you." And that was enough for Yuna.

"Okay, in 3!" Katy called out, whistle between her fingers, "3...2...1!"

Yuna felt herself soar high, like a rocket_ (but it wasn't actually that high)_. She knew she shouldn't look down but she couldn't avert her eyes away from the ground. Her stomach shifted uneasily at the sight. The classrooms, the field, the other girls... they all became a blur. She shut her eyes as the strong wind whipped her hair about her face.

Moments later, she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist. She clung onto the person holding her for dear life and only opened her eyes when she felt her two feet were back on the ground.

Of course it was Ryujin who caught her. It always was.   
  
  
  
  


"Thanks for doing this but you really don't have to," Yuna told her when tryouts were over, "I know running is a lot of fun to you and this probably bores you to death."

"No, it's okay! Everything is fun if it's with you."   
  
  
  


And that's when Yuna felt it - the butterflies in her stomach. 

* * *

_ **NOW THAT THEY'RE EIGHTEEN** _

Yuna couldn’t admit it out loud yet but she knew what every little thing meant: Every time Ryujin purposely walked on the right side of the footpath whenever they were together in case a car drove too close to the curb, every time Ryujin stood behind her on the school bus with a hand on her shoulder to steady her, every time Ryujin laid down her varsity jacket on the ground so that Yuna wouldn’t have to sit on dirt. She noticed it all and engraved those, and every other fleeting moment, in her memory. 

She kept all those feelings bottled up inside her but it didn’t feel like a time bomb ticking away. It felt safe. Because Ryujin felt safe. So, she let herself continue to fall for Ryujin. Because she knew Ryujin would catch her. 

...

It was their last year in high school. It was supposed to be one of the best years of their lives. 

Over the summer, Ryujin had started working at their local café [_“You’re a very expensive girl, Yuna!” / “Are you saying I can be bought?” / “No! I just mean you have expensive taste so I need this job. The macarons you love so much aren’t gonna buy themselves.”_], while Yuna stayed at home, either sleeping, binge watching dramas or filling out university applications. She was deciding between Ewha Woman’s University, which was the same one Ryujin was planning on going to, and Yonsei University, where she was offered an athlete’s scholarship for floorball (Yes, she quit cheerleading because it wasn’t as fun as what she’d seen on Glee)(Ryujin was overjoyed and failed to hide it). The two universities weren’t too far away from each other - about a 20 minute train ride - so it wasn’t like they would never see each other again if Yuna decided to take the scholarship. 

It was their first Friday as seniors and the first time in a while that they could properly meet up. Between juggling classes (which they shared none of) and extracurricular activities, there wasn’t really any time for them to sit down and talk. And they both had a lot on their minds. 

Yuna’s leg unconsciously bounced under the table as she eyed the slow movement of the minute hand on the clock. It’s almost ten past three and they were supposed to be dismissed at three o’clock, so her precious half an hour with Ryujin was already shrunk to less than twenty minutes. She quickly sent another iMessage from her laptop, explaining her lateness. 

_Don’t worry! Let me know when you’re almost here and I’ll order your drink! _\- came Ryujin’s reply. 

Yuna began to discreetly pack up her things. Her teacher was still going on about some microorganisms. Did she not realise the time? Yuna’s eyes darted around the room. Everyone around her looked restless as well. 

Miss Lee glanced down at her watch briefly. 

“Sorry for going over time,” she apologised half-heartedly, “We’ll pick up where we left off on Monday. Enjoy your weekend.” 

Yuna was already out the door before Miss Lee could even finish saying ‘sorry’. 

She walked swiftly to the café, where they had agreed to meet up. It was just like old times - buying drinks for each other every Friday afternoon. 

She arrived in record time and reached for the handle but the door swung open abruptly as someone else wearing an apron stepped out. Yuna’s heart jumped out of her chest in fright. 

“Sorry!” the girl held the door open for her. “Oh wait, you’re Ryujin’s best friend, Yuna, right?”

Yuna nodded slowly. She didn’t recognise the girl but judging from her attire, she probably worked at the café too. 

“I’m Lia!” she extended her hand. “I thought Ryujin would’ve introduced us to each other by now.” 

Her smile was warm and pure. But Yuna couldn’t mirror it in that moment. 

“Why would she?” Yuna thought. 

“I’m actually late but I’ll see you around, Lia,” Yuna tried to sound polite but the grimace on her face was hard to morph into a smile. 

“See you!” Lia cheerfully waved. 

“You didn’t tell me you were on your way,” Ryujin pouted when Yuna took a seat opposite to her. 

“Oh I-I forgot,” Yuna stuttered. 

“It’s fine, I’ll order for us now,” she smiled. 

Yuna decided to ask Ryujin about Lia later. There was something she needed to get off her chest first. 

...

“I-” They both started at the same time. 

“You go first,” Yuna quickly passed the baton. 

“I have a girlfriend!” Ryujin announced excitedly. 

“What?” Her heart dropped to her stomach. 

“I thought you’d be happy for me…” Ryujin mumbled. Yuna didn’t realise she was already frowning. 

“I am Ryu, I just-” Yuna couldn’t finish her sentence. She couldn’t admit it out loud anymore. 

“Aren’t you okay with me liking girls?” 

“No! That’s not it - “

“No? You’re not okay?” 

“Wait, I mean I am okay but that’s not what I meant, I-” 

“You’re not making any sense…” Ryujin’s voice was getting smaller and smaller. 

“I’m sorry, okay?” Yuna always had a hard time expressing herself with words. She was feeling way more emotions than she could handle at that moment. 

Yuna bit her tongue, blinking back the tears that threatened to escape her eyes. She just couldn’t breakdown in front of her best friend. But then she felt warmth trickling down her cheek and sliding off her chin. She quickly wiped it with her sleeve and turned away. Once the first tear broke free, it opened a channel for the rest of her tears to freely flow. She didn’t mean to run away without saying another word. She didn’t want Ryujin to think she did something wrong but her throat closed tight and the world became a blur of grey as she ran in no particular direction. She could hide her feelings from Ryujin but her tears were harder to hide. 

Hearts don’t break into two even pieces. It wasn’t a simple snap like breaking a biscuit in half. It felt like a tiny part of her heart was breaking off one at a time, each progressively getting more and more painful until she felt numb because there’s nothing left in her chest. 

Yuna didn’t know how long she had been running for and if she could, she would never stop. But her steps grew heavier and her breathing was staggered. She clutched her knees, trying to catch her breath. Part of her wished Ryujin had chased after her and told her she was joking - that there was never a girlfriend. Another part of her wished the feelings Ryujin had for her new girlfriend was surmountable, and maybe Ryujin could develop stronger feelings for Yuna instead. But the better part of her knew that Ryujin was the best person in her life, and always will be. She could hardly remember her life before she met Ryujin - there was nothing to remember. It was like a blank canvas. And then Ryujin came in, with a paintbrush in hand and a palette in the other, and coloured her world. So if anyone in the world truly deserved to be happy, it had to be Ryujin. And who was Yuna to stop her from being happy? 

She continued to walk down the street aimlessly. She knew she left her bag at the café with Ryujin but she couldn’t bring herself back there. Instead, her wandering feet brought her to the park - the same one where she met her best friend for the first time. It was funny to think a little bit of steel could scare her as much as it did, considering she was now almost as tall as the slide itself. 

She climbed the ladder (honestly though, you could hardly call it climbing if she just lifted herself up in one go) and sat comfortably on the edge, peering down below. She vaguely remembered how it felt when she was five, because that same feeling never left until recently. She used to think she would fall to her death if her two feet weren’t planted on the ground. But Ryujin made sure to always catch her. She always secretly thought it was Ryujin’s superpower - to know when Yuna was about to fall (which was fairly often). 

Yuna tilted her face towards the sky, letting the sudden raindrops cover her stray tears. It had been sunny all day but the blue sky from earlier was now painted with the deepest hues of grey. How is it that the sky knew how she felt but Ryujin didn’t?

Yuna sighed as she tried to brush aside her thoughts on Ryujin again. These days, everything reminded her of her best friend. Even her phone, which had been constantly buzzing. 

_9 missed calls from Ryu🛡❤️ (A/N: there's supposed to be a shield emoji and heart emoji)_

Yuna stared at her notifications, tempted to swipe and call her back. But she didn’t know what to say yet and she didn’t want to freeze up again and resort to running away. 

“You idiot!” 

Yuna jolted, almost tipping over the edge and sliding down the slide. Her stomach twisted itself in knots as she watched Ryujin, drenched from the rain, storm towards her, lugging two backpacks. 

“Why the fuck have you not been answering my calls?!” Ryujin enunciated every word with heat on the tip of her tongue. 

Yuna blinked. “I-I- um-” Ryujin had never sworn at her before but she guessed she deserved it. 

“Do you have any idea how worried I was?!” Ryujin flared.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at your shift right now?” 

“Does it look like I give a fuck about my shift right now?!” Her fists were clenched around the straps of their backpacks. 

“I’m really sorry,” was all Yuna could say. Although part of her did want Ryujin to chase after her, she didn’t expect her to actually find her… in the park, of all places. 

“You’re sorry?” Ryujin scoffed. “And here I thought you were gonna…”

The last part that Ryujin mumbled was drowned out by the rain pattering against the steel slide. 

“What?”

“Nothing. Here’s your bag by the way.” Ryujin walked closer and lifted the bag above her head so that Yuna could reach. 

“Thanks.” 

“Anytime.” 

Yuna thought she was going to go back to work. Maybe she came all that way just to give Yuna her bag. But Ryujin remained next to the slide with her arms crossed. 

“Are you angry?” Yuna asked meekly. She already knew the answer, she could practically see the steam coming out of Ryujin’s ears but she wanted to know what the girl would say. 

“No.” 

“You were just yelling though.” 

“I told you. I was worried.” 

“Why?” 

“You were crying and it was my fault you were crying,” Ryujin swallowed the lump in her throat. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” Yuna whispered. 

“Princess, it’s raining,” Ryujin deadpanned, “How the hell am I supposed to hear you if you whisper?” 

Yuna’s heart didn’t just skip a beat, it fucking leapt at the sound of Ryujin saying her pet name (which Yuna thought would be really cringey if literally anyone else in the world used that pet name for her). 

She couldn’t help but smile. Maybe they would be okay after all. “Hey, you whispered before as well, hypocrite.” 

“When?” 

“You said _and here I thought you were gonna_,” Yuna deepened her voice mockingly. “And then I couldn’t hear what you said afterwards because you were whispering!” 

“I don’t sound like that,” Ryujin feigned disgust. 

“Mhm, you do.” 

As much as Ryujin wanted to keep Yuna smiling like this, she still needed to address the elephant in the room. Well, the elephant in the park. (Not that plastic elephant standing next to the plastic giraffe though).

She cleared her throat. “Why did you cry?” 

In her mind, she had some idea why Yuna was upset and as much as she wanted it to be true so she could act on it, her heart wanted to hear it from Yuna first. 

“Oh you know, dust got in my eye,” Yuna lied, “You really need to vacuum that café. Do your job properly.” 

“Uh huh, so you ran away from dust?” 

“I ran away to protect my lungs,” Yuna knew she couldn’t get anything past Ryujin but as long as she could delay the inevitable confession, she would continue spewing out absurd reasons. “I forgot to bring my face mask today.” 

“Then why didn’t you answer my calls?” 

“Like I said, dust got in my eye, I couldn’t see a thing.” 

“And yet, of all places, you managed to find your way here?” Ryujin challenged. It takes two to play a game. 

“Okay, honestly, I don’t know how I got here,” Yuna answered truthfully, “My feet just did its own thing like it always does and brought me here.” 

“Maybe you wanted to come here then.” 

“I don’t know why I would,” Yuna countered, “I’m not five.” 

Ryujin’s patience was wearing thin. “Remember when we were five?” 

“Yeah, you sat right here,” Yuna patted the space behind where she was sitting. 

“I would sit there now because it’s tiring craning my neck to look up at you but like, you’re taking up too much space and there’s no room for me.” 

“Excuse me?” Yuna gasped. “Are you calling me fat?” 

Ryujin’s hand flew to her mouth dramatically. “I would never!” 

Yuna couldn’t stop herself from erupting into a fit of giggles. That was just how Ryujin always made her feel. 

Yuna shuffled a little so that she was tipping over the edge of the top of the slide. She was already drenched from the rain so it didn’t matter that the slide was covered with droplets. She quickly slid down (her legs were basically already at the end of the slide anyway) so she was levelled with Ryujin. 

“Now you don’t have to hurt your neck.” 

“How considerate of you,” she simpered. 

“And…” Yuna drew in a shaky breath. 

Ryujin kept quiet, hoping Yuna would say something that Ryujin had been trying to say for the past thirteen years. 

“Mum’s gonna kill me if I get sick for staying out in the rain for too long,” Yuna whined. 

Ryujin sighed in defeat. Maybe Lia was right, maybe Yuna didn’t actually have feelings for her. 

“Please don’t die, how can I live without you?” Ryujin joked but really, she hoped Yuna could sense the slight sincerity in her voice. 

“Of course you can,” Yuna gave her a weak smile, “Your girlfriend will make you happy, right?” 

“Oh god, I can’t do this anymore,” Ryujin lamented as the rain relented. “I told her it was a bad idea!” 

“Told who? W-what?” Yuna’s heart stuttered. 

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Ryujin cleared up, “I was complaining to Lia about - oh wait, Lia’s my coworker - uh… about my stupid crush not noticing that I’m basically in love with her even though I really could not be more obvious about it.” 

Ryujin could feel the weight on her shoulders slowly reducing but she still had a lot left to say. 

“Okay, so she doesn’t have a girlfriend so yay?” Yuna thought to herself as Ryujin continued to babble, “But she’s in love with someone else so that’s… worse…” 

“So I wanted to know if she likes me back so Lia came up with this stupid idea that I should pretend that I have a girlfriend, to see how she would react.” Ryujin scratched the nape of her neck. 

“And how did she react?” Yuna couldn’t look at Ryujin anymore. She miserably kicked a rock into a puddle. 

“Well, first of all, she literally ditched me and ran somewhere while crying. So I called her like ten times but she didn’t pick up. So I thought, hm, where would my idiot go? Then, it hit me! This park.”

“Okay, did you find her?” Yuna mumbled. She didn’t want to hear about Ryujin’s crush but wasn’t it her duty as her best friend to listen? 

“I did.” 

“Well now what? You guys together or something?” 

“You can’t be serious,” Ryujin ran a hand through her damp hair. 

“You really are an idiot,” she sighed, “No wonder you haven’t noticed all these years.”

“Hey! I’m not!” Yuna huffed. 

“You are, but you’re _my _idiot.” 

“...who I love, not platonically, with my whole heart,” Ryujin added. Her heart thumped tumultuously in her chest. “Is it clear to you yet?” 

“Wait, hold on,” Yuna froze. “T-There’s a spider on your cheek!” 

“What the fuck! Get it off!” Ryujin screamed. 

“Wait! Stand still!” 

Ryujin shut her eyes, hoping Yuna would hurry the fuck up and whack that ugly thing off her face. 

But instead, she felt soft lips pressed hastily against her own. She wished they lingered there a little longer. 

“I love you too,” Yuna (finally) confessed shyly. 

The tips of Yuna’s ears were beet red and as much as Ryujin wanted to tease her for it, she knew she couldn’t because she could feel that hers were just as red. 

To say that Ryujin was happy would be an understatement. Four simple words was all it took to send her floating on cloud nine (though three of those words would’ve sufficed as well). 

“Come here,” Ryujin opened her arms with the biggest smile plastered on her face. 

“No, you swore at me,” Yuna pouted. 

“Oh yeah I did, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” 

“Do I get to swear back?” 

“Fine.” 

“I swear I’ll never run away from you ever again,” Yuna stuck out her pinky. 

A smile stretched on Ryujin’s lips as she linked her pinky with Yuna’s.

"I have a better one," Ryujin offered her pinky again, "I swear I'll love you forever."

"Isn't that something people say at weddings?" Yuna held onto her own pinky, keeping it away from Ryujin's, "Like, in their vows or something?"

"I don't know, I've never been married before. Wanna try it together some time?"

"If that's how you're gonna ask then no," Yuna pushed away Ryujin's pinky and ran away but a smile was tugging at her lips.

"Hey! You promised you wouldn't run away!"

"I'm not running! I'm skipping!"

･◡･


End file.
